Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We have so much sex to catch up on
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
