that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
