This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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