A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
...so i touched it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
