she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
