your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the condom got lost in my hair
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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