what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
