before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
