I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
