If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
