just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
