Umm I'm too high to move.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
