Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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