drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
