So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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