Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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