So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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