I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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