My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
someone owes me an orgasm
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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