at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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