One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
