In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
