it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The air was thick with penises
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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