He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
