i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
