I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
