some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
