He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
