can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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