I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
