i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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