the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
