When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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