He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
pray to the hookup gods
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
