So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
