he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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