His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
