my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
They have beer where we have blood.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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