We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
