HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
