Non-Jews are for practice
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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