Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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