you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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