Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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