apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
