You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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