You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just tell him i said nine months
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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