people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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