never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
