So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
