Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Randomize
